Page 8 - Loose Goose

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NOT A FINE WAY TO DINE
A fine fellow who lived in New York
Was eating a plateful of pork.
He then drank too much wine,
But all still seemed just fine
Till the fine fellow swallowed his fork.
WEIGHTING FOR LEFTY*
A poor fellow named Mortimer Knight,
Whose left side weighs much more than his right,
When he tries to walk straight
Has to shift all his weight.
Let us pray the guy can stay upright.
*A play on “Waiting for Lefty,” one of Clifford Odets’ left-wing plays of
the Depression era.
TERSE VERSED CURSE
Whenever Walter Balter would curse
He’d inevitably curse in verse.
He’d not just say “Goddamn,”
But “Goddamn you! / Now scram!”
Don’t you think that versed curses are worse?
BEN’S PEN
There was an old Franklin named Ben
Who was very gifted with his pen.
Franklin’s writings were wise;
They could open men’s eyes.
I do wish he were writing again.
FIREFLIES
(Written at the behest of Serena Soltes)
If I were to give an insect prize
I think it would be to fireflies.
They’re really a delight;
They glow like stars at night.
But it makes me sad when their light dies.