Page 10 - Trapped in a Diamond

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Trapped in a Diamond
Throughout my life, I endured verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. I
have been very fortunate to also experience real love and—most impor-
tantly—I have been able to forgive.
After the death of my husband, Cyrus, I discovered the secret life of
my spouse, and at the same time, I realized that I had not only lost my
husband, I had lost my past. The history I made with Cyrus had to be
rewritten. His death was a tragic event, but the loss of my identity while
I was married to him was even more tragic for me. I went through peri-
ods of hurt, doubt, discovery, forgiveness, resignation, and finally hope.
Throughout this time, I kept wearing a $40,000 diamond ring that my
deceased husband had given me. I could not let go of it. But the mys-
terious loss of it one day was incredibly revealing to me. It made me
realize that I had being looking at life as if from the distorted internal
perspective of a many-faceted diamond. The loss of that ring changed
my perspective on life, and I was inspired to write this, my first book:
Trapped In A Diamond
The only way you will surrender to someone else’s will is if you are not
sure of yourself and have no opportunity to discover your true self. Low
self-esteem caused by events in your life may contribute to your inabil-
ity to stand up for yourself. Many factors contribute to such inaction,
but fear is the major contributor.
I will talk about experiences in my childhood, as I feel them to be the
precursor of my action—or inaction—during the relationship with my
husband. I invite you, the reader, to also revisit your own past and look
for events that might have contributed to the fear you may have in your
life. And I encourage you now to stand up for yourself.