Page 13 - I Do ... Again

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I Do … Again
what he came to call self-actualized people-instead of
studying only people who were emotionally troubled,
which is what every other psychologist and psychiatrist
was studying.
We apply a similar principle in our private prac-
tices, and we apply it to individuals and relationships
alike.
When individuals come in for therapy they
always begin with an outpouring of what they consider
wrong with their lives and wrong with them.
Some couples come in carrying their relationship
like a bruised and battered doll and ask us, with weeping
eyes, to fix it. Others storm in and point over the wall at
their shattered Humpty Dumpty relationship and chal-
lenge us, with defiant eyes, to do what they are sure all
the king’s horses and all the king’s men would fail to do.
We know that if people could find a way to more
consistently see the beauty and wonder of the person
they married, their relationship would be rejuvenated. It
would be renewed. It could start again where it started
in the first place—from love and joy and expectation
and excitement. We know this because it works in our
marriage and it works in the marriages of the couples
with whom we’ve shared our method.
Relationships Are for Two
It takes two people to make a relationship work. Just as it
takes two people to effectively play on a see-saw. If one
of the players gets off the board or sits on the end like
a wet sack of mud, it really doesn’t matter how many
books the other player reads on the art and science of